Placenta Ovaries

November Reviews 3

11/13

Westworld (Rewatch, 1973, Michael Crichton, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A couple guys go to a futuristic adult theme park where realistic robots help recreate a period of history (there’s Medieval World, Roman World, and Westworld). Yul Brynner creepily plays an android gunslinger who starts to malfunction and go after one of the guys for real. Then the rest of the theme park begins to break down, and there’s chaos. It’s very low-key stylistically, but never feels too slow, and yeah, it's fucking great.

The Terminator (Rewatch, 1984, James Cameron, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A robot from the future goes back in time to kill the mother of the woman who will eventually give birth to the man who will overthrow the technology-gone-evil of the future. Great concept, action, and performances. What a movie!

RoboCop (Rewatch, 1987, Paul Verhoeven, 35mm, Castro) - 10.0
A cop is violently murdered, and then his corpse is used to make a robot supercop. It’s insanely over-the-top and entertaining, and fucking crazy violent. When it comes to sci-fi action films, RoboCop definitely takes the prize for Most Terrific.

The Transformers: The Movie (Rewatch, 1986, Nelson Shin, 35mm, Castro) - 6.5
I have no fucking clue what this movie is about. A decepticon voiced by Orson Welles is trying to eat planets or something? Regardless, it’s still pretty entertaining, but it mostly gets points for an unexpected use of the word “shit” in a kid’s movie, and the incredible soundtrack. Though I prefer Michael Bay’s equally non-sensical attempts at Transformer Cinema, he has definitely missed an opportunity to include scenes of transformers dancing to “Weird Al” Yankovic’s Dare to Be Stupid, so this original cartoon version certainly deserves some credit.

Too Much (1987, Éric Rochat, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
An adorable young girl (Bridgette Andersen, who apparently died young of a drug overdose, which added a horrible sense of tragedy to the movie while watching) goes to Japan with her parents, and one of their friends who works in electronics builds her a robot she cutely names Too Much. Her and the robot become best friends, and when she learns that she’s supposed to go back to America and leave Too Much behind, they run away together. They adventure through Japan, meeting up with a helpful young boy, and avoiding her family and a rival robot-builder who wants to steal the ideas of Too Much’s creation. It all ends with a robot revolution. This shit was Too Charming and Too Fucking Cute. Truly amazing.

11/14

Re-Animator (Rewatch, 1985, Stuart Gordon, 35mm, Balboa) - 10.0+
Dr. Herbert West moves in with a fellow medical student, and experiments with bringing the dead back to life. It’s bloody, hilarious, creative, smart, innovative, with amazing special effects and a naked Barbara Crampton, and Jeffrey Combs’ defining performance creates a legendary character in Herbert West. I don’t know how to write about a movie like Re-Animator. The film is intensely lovable. It’s flawless.
I saw the Musical recently, and it was also great, and completely pulls off all of the gore and everything else you can’t really imagine actually seeing live.

11/15

Dagon (Rewatch, 2001, Stuart Gordon, DVD) - 9.0
A couple goes to this island for a vacation, but something fishy is going on with the townsfolk. Specifically, they are all fish monsters who worship a horny fish god. Some good effects (including an excellent skinning scene), and an original, well-told story. You know what’s great about Stuart Gordon’s directing style? Everything.

11/16

If There Be Thorns by V.C. Andrews - 9.0
Cathy and her husband/brother are living their life, with their two kids, one of whom (Jory) is well-adjusted and on his way to being a ballet star, and the other (Bart) who is clumsy and angry and becomes severely influenced by the woman next door claiming to be his grandmother, and her hateful butler. The parts of the book about Jory are ok, but it’s Bart’s story that really steals all the focus. It’s a completely fucking disturbing portrait of how an innocent kid can transform into a misogynistic monster.

2010 STATS AND CHARTS!!!

Here are some stats for 2010. The arrows indicate how it compares to last year's numbers.

Movies seen for the first time: 245.5 (↓14.5)
Movies rewatched: 87 (↑14)
Total: 332.5 (↓.5)
Movies seen in the theater (including rewatches): 204 (↑9)

Short films watched: 33 (↓9)
Short films rewatched: 8 (↑5)
I also watched a ton of cartoons, which I didn't include.

Audio commentaries listened to: 1 (↓13)
Seasons of TV watched: 28 (↓3)
Books Read: 8 (↓1)
Plays Seen: 1 (↓1)
Concerts Gone To: 2 (↓6)
Comedy Shows Gone To: 8 (didn't keep track last year)

Watched the most movies in February (44).
Watched the least movies in June (16).
Watched the most movies in the theater in July (25).
Watched the least movies in the theater in May (11).

Movie pie charts!
Countries

Decades

Formats

What Did I Think?

August Reviews 1

8/4

Tango & Cash (1989, Andrei Konchalovsky, Roku) - 9.0
Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Cash (Kurt Russell) are two L.A. cops with completely different personal styles, but an identical affinity for witty one-liners. When a crime boss (Jack Palance) gets frustrated with them fucking up his business, he sets them up for murder, getting them sent to prison. And then they have to work together to break out and nail down some evidence to clear their names. The action scenes are kind of crazy, often intense, and always unpredictable. The chemisty between the leads is amazing, and they’re both hilarious. I only gave it a 9.0 for some reason, but I think this might actually be one of the best movies ever made.

8/5

Blue Velvet (Rewatch, 1986, David Lynch, 35mm, Castro) - 10.0
Kyle MacLachlan returns home from college, and finds a severed ear in a field. He turns it in to the police, but is still curious of the ear's story, so along with the police chief's daughter (Laura Dern), he does some of his own investigative work, and witnesses Dennis Hopper doing some disturbing things. It’s an insanely perfect movie, that gets better every time, and it’s always a delight to see in the theater. It is a delightful film.

River's Edge (Rewatch, 1986, Tim Hunter, 35mm, Castro) - 10.0
A big guy from a group of friends murders a girl from the same group of friends, and Crispin Glover convinces them all to protect the friend (since he’s still alive and the murdered friend isn’t) by not turning him in. Bleak and amazing. Crispin is incredible.

Life During Wartime (2010, Todd Solondz, 35mm, Clay) - 8.5
All new actors step in to play the parts of the characters from Happiness (and a couple from Welcome to the Dollhouse), and we get caught up on their latest miseries. I’ve seen Happiness a bunch, and I was kind of distracted both by my own comparisons of actor portrayals and my thoughts of how well this movie would work for someone less familiar with the other film. It turns out, everyone I know who hasn’t seen or barely remembers Happiness all seemed to really like the movie, and could follow it fine without the backstory, so I was wasting my time thinking about it, and now I need to see it again. I want to see it again, anyway, because every Solondz movie gets better on repeat viewings. Loving Happiness as much as I do, it is really difficult to accept these characters being portrayed by different actors, but I still liked it quite a bit, and hope to view it more on it’s own merits next time.

8/6

Mars and Beyond (1957, Ward Kimball, Youtube) - 7.5
Animated documentary from Disney about space and the possibilities of life on Mars. Mostly pretty interesting.

8/7

Man in Space (1955, Ward Kimball, Youtube) - 9.0
Another educational Disney documentary about rockets and how to get Man into outer space. How good these are probably depends entirely on how interested you are in the subject, and this had me fascinated.

Man and the Moon (1955, Ward Kimball, Youtube) - 8.0
Disney doc on the moon, including a simulation of what a trip there would be like. It’s good.

8/8 - Book

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin - 8.0
All about Steve Martin’s entrance into comedy and stand-up. Informative and well-written.

8/9

Step Up 3D (2010, Jon Chu, RealD, Van Ness) - 9.0
The nerdy Jewish kid with the incredible dance moves from Step Up 2 The Streets joins up with this like commune for dancers, and so does this girl who looks a lot like Briana Evigan from Step Up 2, but is not actually her and is an entirely different character, and the group has to dance-off against a rival group of asshole dancers, and it’s in 3D. The 3D gimmickry is appropriately exploited (and it was actually shot in 3D, and not post-converted at the last minute), and the dancing is incredible as always. As a movie, Step Up 2 The Streets is better, but this was great as well, and had the bonus of people dancing right up in my face.

July Reviews 2

7/11

Dead Snow (2009, Tommy Wirkola, Roku) - 9.0
A group of people go to a cabin in the snowy mountains, and there turns out to be Nazi zombies there. It starts really slow, and the first couple of kills are offscreen, so I wasn’t into it. But about halfway in, the movie goes fucking nuts, and the gore and blood is graphic and continuous, and it’s amazing.

7/12 - BOOK

Petals on the Wind by V.C. Andrews - 9.0
Following the traumatic events of Flowers in the Attic, the Dollanganger kids find a new home with a kind doctor. It's not nearly as dark or disturbing as the first book. The main conflict seems to center around too many people being in love with Cathy, and she doesn't know if she should choose a complete asshole who will help her acheive fame as a ballet dancer, her brother, or a much older man. It's not boring, and there are still fucked up things happening occasionally, but it was much harder to get into. Throughout the book, Cathy is slowly tracking her mother's whereabouts and planning some kind of revenge, and when this begins to culminate in the last fourth of the book, things start to take off. Like, really fucking start to take the fuck off, holy fuck. It was the most shocking, riveting, insane, perfect, completely EPIC finale I've ever read, and brings every element from both books together beautifully. It was some of the best writing I have ever come across. So perfect and wonderful, and sad, and brutal, and fuck, everything. Well worth any slow portions or intolerable characters (the asshole ballet guy). Loved it.

7/16

Rotaie (1929, Mario Camerini) - 5.0
A couple is really poor, so they’re gonna kill themselves, but they don’t, and they end up finding a bunch of money and then living a better life until the guy loses it all gambling, so they’re poor again, but this time they decide that rather than killing themselves maybe they should just get jobs. While actually watching the film, my knowledge of what I just described above ended with “A couple”. The entire synopsis I just wrote all came from Erin explaining it to me afterwards. Sometimes I can’t follow silent movies, like I have to be in just the right mood. My original rating was a 3.0, but that’s way too harsh because looking back on it now that I understand the story, it seems like a pretty good movie. You should ignore my rating entirely.

Lady Terminator (Rewatch, 1988, Jalil Jackson, 35mm, Roxie) - 9.0
Here is everything you could ever need to know about this movie:

7/17

Diary of a Lost Girl (1929, G.W. Pabst, 35mm, Castro) - 8.0
Louise Brooks is this girl who has a baby out of wedlock, so her father and his mistress decide she’s out of control and needs to go to this shitty girls’ home run by a dyke who makes them do calisthenics, and she escapes the home and becomes a prostitute, but eventually finds her way. Good story, and Brooks is charismatic and very enjoyable to look at (I was also very taken by the girl on the left in this picture, because she had great (crooked) teeth).

Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922, Benjamin Christensen, 35mm, Castro) - 3.5
A pseudo-documentary on witchcraft (through the ages), told through a whole fucking lot of intertitles, and occasional moving pictures. It seems like a strange complaint, but this silent film had way too many words. I’m almost positive the intertitles take up more than half of the film’s running time. The movie is occasionally quite good, with interesting imagery. In particular, all of the scenes with the devil are amazing, and I liked the brief tour of torture instruments. But it’s mostly boring, and it started to feel like hours had passed and it was never, ever going to end. Essentially, I think the director failed to tell a story using the silent medium and the filmed images don’t offer quite enough to justify his not just writing a fucking book.

7/18

Man with a Movie Camera (1929, Dziga Vertov, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A man films a bunch of shit in the Soviet Union. The imagery is always compelling, with editing that is innovative and way ahead of its time. There was one really clever device it used where there would be stop-motion animation (once with a magician and once with a movie camera setting itself up on a tripod), which is already impressive enough as it is, but it would then cut to an audience reacting, as if this were happening live in front of them, and it was a brilliant way to add a sense of reality to animation. I also have to give some credit to the live score. All the live scores at this year’s Silent Film Festival were uniformly great (and often enjoyable even when the movie wasn’t), but this one in particular, by the Alloy Orchestra, was fucking phenomenal. The sound was perfectly married to the image, keeping up with every fast cut, and building on occasion to overwhelming levels. The movie was great either way, but they definitely contributed to my appreciation of the film.

7/20 - TV
The Office Season 5 (Greg Daniels, Roku) - 9.5
Still amazing. Holly was a great character, it was sad to see her go. My favorite character right now is probably Creed. And Ryan’s bleached hair was amazing.

7/21

Cyrus (2010, Jay & Mark Duplass, 35mm, Balboa) - 8.0
John C. Reilly is divorced and lonely, but then he meets Marisa Tomei at a party, and they start dating, but she turns out to have a fully grown son named Cyrus (Jonah Hill) who is eerily close to her and seems to have some mental problems. There's some annoying, pointlessly jerky camera movements at the start of the movie, but they fade away. The story is intriguing, funny, and strange, and Hill is excellent as a creepy, codependent weirdo. At times, I loved the movie, wrapped up in the characters' awkwardness and occasional hatred for each other. It fails miserably with the ending, however. In a delusionally happy ending, Cyrus has a change of heart based on his mother's unhappiness that doesn't fall in line with the character's history and mental health issues. Besides that, though, it's still very good.

Shorts
7/16 - Panorama from Top of a Moving Train (1898, Georges Méliès, Digital Projection, Castro) - 6.0
This is about a minute long, and the title is the synopsis. It’s fine.

7/17 - The Spider and the Butterfly (Fragment, 1909, Georges Méliès, Digital Projection, Castro) - 8.0
There’s a woman with butterfly wings, and another woman with a web and spider arms who is trying to get her, and a magician making it all happen, and it’s colorized in a really neat way, and is great.

The Infernal Cauldron (1903, Georges Méliès, Digital Projection, Castro) - 8.5
Same kind of coloring as the last short, in this one, the devil tosses people into a cauldron. It’s also great.

7/18 - A Trip to the Moon (1902, Georges Méliès, Digital Projection, Castro) - 9.0
Some astronomers build a rocket and shoot it out of a cannon to the moon, and once there, they go underground, where there are some weird creatures. Amazing.

July Top 5 Cartoons
1. The Woody Woodpecker Polka (1951, Walter Lantz, Youtube) - 9.5
Woody dresses in drag to sneak into a barn dance and steal food, and the doorman falls in love with her.

2. Popeye: A Dream Walking (1934, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 9.5
Olive Oyl sleepwalks over rooftops and around a construction site, so Popeye and Bluto compete to save her before she falls to her death.

3. Betty Boop's Life Guard (1934, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 9.0
Betty goes into the ocean on an inflatable horse, but it deflates and she can’t swim, so the life guard has to save her.

4. Donald Duck: Bee at the Beach (1950, Jack Hannah, Youtube) - 8.5
(This review may have been written on Ambien.)
Youtube Is in 3d tonith and it loosk right, Donald is having beach sharring issues there wih=t a bee, so they fuck around with each other a biit the way any sweret cat wouldl.

5. Gerald McBoing-Boing (Rewatch, 1951, Robert Cannon, Youtube) - 8.0
A young boy can’t speak, but can only make sound effects noises.

June Reviews: Book, TV, Shorts, Cartoons, Top 10s, and more!

BOOK
6/2

Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity (Audiobook) by David Lynch - 8.0
Lynch reads his book on meditation and how it ties into his filmmaking process. He doesn’t really get into details on how to meditate or anything, just talks about it’s advantages and how it has helped him personally. But he mostly talks about making movies. He goes through every stage, from coming up with ideas, to making everything coalesce, and basically covers pre- to post- production, telling stories about each of his films along the way. He’s a great speaker, who is very informative, occasionally funny, and unbelievably succinct. He talks a little about the meanings behind his films (apparently Lost Highway is all about O.J. Simpson), and how people interpret them, and one of my favorite parts is when (while talking about Mulholland Drive), he says, “The box and the key. I have no clue what these things mean.” So, you know, don’t try too hard trying to figure out his movies, because sometimes not even he knows the answers. If you’re a fan of David Lynch, but not interested in the meditation stuff (I wasn’t really), I definitely still recommend the book, or the audiobook if you’re also a fan of his voice.

TV
6/11
The Office Season 2 (Greg Daniels, Roku) - 9.5
This show is really amazing and hilarious. I cannot get enough of Michael Scott’s crush on the temp (B.J. Novak).

6/19
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 (Fenton Bailey/Randy Barbato/Tom Campbell/RuPaul Charles, VH1) - 7.5
Better than the first season, but still not as amazing as it potentially could be. I don't expect all drag queens to be as amazing as this, but I do expect them to not be boring. And I just have zero interest in "serious" queens. At least there were opportunities this time for some of them to show their comedic side. Also, I thought it was weird that almost all of them had like a counterpart from the first season. Jujubee = Ongina, Raven = Shannel (I literally cannot tell the difference between these two), Mystique = Pork Chop, Pandora Boxx = Tammie Brown. You can see pictures of the Season 1 people at the bottom of this page and the Season 2 people at the bottom of this page. Oh, and also, I don't like RuPaul all that much. It's hard to say if I would ordinarily think he lacks charm or fabulous-ness, or if it's all due to horror stories I've heard about him being a total cunt from people who had to work with him. If there's another season, I'm sure I'll keep watching. But seriously, cast someone from fucking San Francisco already.

6/22
The Office Season 3 (Greg Daniels, Roku) - 9.0
This is a great show!

6/28
The Office Season 4 (Greg Daniels, Roku) - 9.5
I don’t know which I love more. Michael’s crush on Ryan, or his anti-crush on Toby. Neither one ever gets old. The episode with the dinner party at Michael’s and Jan’s house was incredible.

6/29
Party Down Season 2 (Rob Thomas/John Enbom/Dan Etheridge/Paul Rudd, Roku) - 9.0
The final season of Party Down. So sad. I gotta say, this season was less funny than the first. There was a lot of depressing, serious stuff about the crew failing to live out their dreams. I did like that, though. The cast continued to be amazing, and I'm love with all of them. Megan Mullally's character was fucking adorable.

Rewatches (links go to previous reviews)
6/5 - Troll 2 (1990, Claudio Fragasso, Projected DVD, Lumiere) - 10.0+
6/11 - Jennifer's Body (2009, Karyn Kusama, DLP, Castro) - 9.5

Stand-Up
6/12 - Louis C.K.: Chewed Up (2008, Louis C.K. & Shannon Hartman, Roku) - 8.0
6/18 - Richard Pryor: Here and Now (1983, Richard Pryor, Roku) - 8.0

Shorts
6/5 - Darkness/Light/Darkness (Rewatch, 1989, Jan Svankmajer, Youtube) - 8.5
Clay body parts construct themselves into a person in a small room.

6/5 - You Killed Me First (Rewatch, 1985, Richard Kern, DVD) - 9.0
An angsty punk girl (a brilliantly compelling actress named Lung Leg) is frustrated with her family, and eventually kills them.

6/5 - Stray Dogs (Rewatch, 1985, Richard Kern, DVD) - 8.5
Some guy follows an artist home, enters his house, and starts cutting off his own limbs.

6/5 - Woman at the Wheel (Rewatch, 1985, Richard Kern, DVD) - 7.0
A woman goes on dates with some assholes who never let her drive, so she kicks them out of the car, and at the end, she finally gets to drive and she crashes.

6/5 - Thrust In Me (Rewatch, 1985, Richard Kern & Nick Zedd, DVD) - 8.5
Nick Zedd in drag kills herself, and then Nick Zedd out of drag shows up at her house and sticks his dick in her mouth.

6/13 - Cooking with Gerry (1989, Reed Farrington, Youtube) - 9.0
An awkward Asian man tries to demonstrate how to cook turkey shrimp fried rice.

6/13 - Cooking with Gerry 2 (2010, Jay Cheel, Vimeo) - 9.0
20 years later, the same awkward Asian man tries to demonstrate how to make poutine. I don’t think either of these shorts would mean anything, or be funny, to anyone who doesn’t listen to the Film Junk podcast, but if you do, these are really great.

6/19 - Day & Night (2010, Teddy Newton, 35mm, Balboa) - 9.0
Preceded Toy Story 3. Two creatures, one made up of day and the other made up of night, meet each other, and are at first fearful of one another, but then learn to appreciate each other’s differences. Gets a little heavy-handed when a radio broadcast spells out the film’s message, but it’s still cute and extremely innovative visually.

Cartoons
I started writing down descriptions of the cartoons I'm watching (again, mostly on . They're not really reviews, just something to help me remember them better, but I thought I might as well include them.

Swing Shift Cinderella (1945, Tex Avery, Youtube) - 8.0
The Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood sleazes after Cinderella instead, and tries to get away from the Fairy Godmother, who is sleazing after him.

Dudley Do-Right: Saw Mill (1960, Youtube) - 8.5
Dudley Do-Right’s girlfriend or fiance or wife (I can’t remember) is kidnapped and going to be sawed in half, so she sends him a letter asking for help.

Disney: Susie the Little Blue Coupe (1952, Clyde Geronimi, Youtube) - 8.0
Weirdly sad story about a car being bought, used up, stolen, junked, etc.

Car of Tomorrow (1951, Tex Avery, Youtube) - 7.5
A bunch of gags about ridiculous traits that cars in the future will have.

Goofy: Motor Mania (Rewatch, 1950, Jack Kinney, Youtube) - 7.0
Goofy is a decent person who becomes a maniac once he’s put behind the wheel. I’m pretty sure this was shown when I went to traffic school.

Mickey Mouse: Traffic Troubles (1931, Burt Gillett, Youtube) - 7.0
Mickey drives a cab and lots of weird shit happens.

One Cab's Family (1952, Tex Avery, Youtube) - 9.0
A baby car is born in the “motor’nity” ward (I love it) of a hospital, and as it gets older, it wants to be a fast hot rod rather than a taxi.

Donald Duck: Donald's Tire Trouble (1943, Dick Lundy, Youtube) - 7.0
Donald changes a flat tire.

Disney: In the Bag (1956, Jack Hannah, Youtube) - 8.5
A park ranger tries to trick all the bears into picking up all the trash around the park, and one bear in particular gets stuck with most of the work.

The Animal Movie (1966, Grant Munro & Rob Tunis, Youtube) - 8.0
A little boy interacts with various animals. Very cute and sweet.

Van Beuren's Tom & Jerry: Pencil Mania (1932, John Foster & Vernon Stallings, Youtube) - 7.5
Two guys (Tom & Jerry) draw shit that comes to life. Some great gags.

Sylvester and Elmer Fudd: Back Alley Oproar (1948, Friz Freleng, Youtube) - 7.0
Elmer Fudd is trying to get some sleep, but Sylvester is intent on tormenting him and it ends with Elmer Fudd killing himself (seriously).

Flip the Frog: Ragtime Romeo (1931, Ub Iwerks, Youtube) - 7.5
Flip impresses his girlfriend by playing piano outside her apartment complex.

Pluto: Cat Nap Pluto (1948, Charles A. Nichols, Youtube) - 8.0
Pluto is trying to take a nap, but Figaro the kitten wants to play with him.

You Can't Shoe a Horsefly (1940, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 7.0
A young horse is trying to sleep, but is tormented by a horsefly.

Yogi Bear: Slumber Party Smarty (1958, Hanna/Barbera, Youtube) - 7.5
Yogi is trying to hibernate, but is disturbed by a baby duck.

Puss in Boots (1934, Ub Iwerks, Youtube) - 8.0
After a guy helps save some kittens, the cat the kittens belong to helps him save the princess from an ogre, so he can become a prince.

Tom & Jerry: The Zoot Cat (1944, Hanna/Barbera, Youtube) - 8.0
Tom makes himself a zoot suit to impress a lady cat.

Mickey Mouse: Mickey's Rival (1936, Wilfred Jackson, Youtube) - 8.0
Mickey meets Minnie’s ex, Mortimer, who is a dickish prankster, but charms Minnie. When a bull comes after them, though, Mickey is the one who sticks around to defend her.

Oswald Rabbit: Beach Combers (1936, Walter Lantz, Youtube) - 7.5
Some ducklings try to steal a picnic basket from a rabbit and it’s dog, and the ducklings’ black brother outsmarts everyone.

Crazy Mixed-Up Pup (1954, Tex Avery, Youtube) - 8.5
A man and his dog get run over, and the ambulance guy mixes up their plasma, so they start acting like each other.

Little Audrey: Butterscotch and Soda (1948, Seymour Kneitel, Youtube) - 8.5
Little Audrey goes into candy withdrawal and starts hallucinating.

Goofy: Fathers Are People (1951, Jack Kinney, Youtube) - 5.0
Goofy has a kid and takes cares of it.

Summertime (1935, Ub Iwerks, Youtube) - 5.0
Summer starts happening.

Daffy Duck: Muscle Tussle (1953, Robert McKimson, Youtube) - 7.0
A guy with big muscles moves in on Daffy’s girlfriend, so he takes a formula that he thinks has made him strong.

June Top 10
1. The Karate Kid
2. Best Worst Movie
3. Innocent Blood
4. Mother
5. Toy Story 3
6. Bullies
7. Trash Humpers
8. A League of Their Own
9. The Karate Kid Part II
10. Splice

June Top 10 Shorts & Cartoons
1. Day & Night
2. Cooking with Gerry
3. Cooking with Gerry 2
4. One Cab's Family
5. Crazy Mixed-Up Pup
6. In the Bag
7. Saw Mill
8. Butterscotch and Soda
9. Swing Shift Cinderella
10. The Animal Movie

May Reviews Part 2: TV, Book, Short, Cartoons

TV
5/16
Saturday Night Live Season 35 (Lorne Michaels, NBC) - 7.5
Pretty good season. Kristen Wiig still the best.

5/17
Tool Academy 3 (Sally Ann Salsano/Jim Ackerman/Dave Hamilton, VH1) - 8.5
This was a coed season, with a couple female tools, including a lesbian (so progressive), and I was also pleased to see a married tool. On the reunion show for the first season, one of the first tools who had gotten kicked off had since married his girlfriend and the host treated it like this was some kind of miraculous solution, and putting a ring on it is all it takes to stop being an asshole, which is obviously not true. Anyway, I’m always hesitant to start a new season of this show because I think I’m just gonna hate everyone and get depressed, but then I always end up getting really into it. I still pretty much hate everyone, but am also easily entertained by their antics.

5/21
Parks and Recreation Season 2 (Greg Daniels/Michael Schur, NBC) - 10.0
I liked the first season, but it really took off in Season 2, and is fucking hilarious. Amy Poehler and Ron Swanson are incredible. I think this adorable gif pretty much sums everything up:

I can’t believe Season 3 doesn’t start until January!

5/31
The Office Season 1 (Greg Daniels, Roku) - 9.0
A bunch of people work in an office, with a boss (Steve Carell) who makes a ton of inappropriate jokes. I had heard that the first few episodes were identical to the British version, but it was really only the pilot and the second episode that were the same, so far as I can remember, anyway. The characters are obviously based on their British counterparts, but each actor definitely puts their own spin on them, so it still feels fresh. It’s really good.

BOOK
5/23
Skinema by Chris Nieratko - 3.0
A bunch of not-really-reviews of porn videos by a guy loosely connected to Jackass. I wanted to read it because I like the idea of using a review format to instead tell stories that barely touch on the actual movie in question, but this was pretty shitty and I ended up preferring it when he actually reviewed the porn. The writer was a tool who was frequently almost funny, but never quite makes it, and he’s just not likable. I don’t know why I even bothered to finish it.

Short
5/4
Robin's Big Date (2005, James Duffy, Youtube) - 8.0
Robin (played by Justin Long) is on a date, and Batman (played by Sam Rockwell) shows up and embarrasses him. Really good, Sam Rockwell is hilarious in it.

Cartoons
Disney: Pecos Bill (1948, Clyde Geronimi, Youtube) - 8.0
Tom & Jerry: The Invisible Mouse (1947, Hanna/Barbera, Youtube) - 7.5
Heckle and Jeckle: Dancing Shoes (1949, Mannie Davis, Youtube) - 7.5
Pluto: Pluto's Blue Note (1947, Charles A. Nichols, Youtube) - 6.0
Looney Tunes: Punch Trunk (1953, Chuck Jones, Youtube) - 7.5
Donald Duck: Cured Duck (1945, Jack King, Youtube) - 7.5
Silly Symphony: The China Shop (1934, Wilfred Jackson, Youtube) - 8.0
Mickey Mouse: Mickey's Garden (1935, Wilfred Jackson, Youtube) - 7.5
Foghorn Leghorn: The EGGcited Rooster (1952, Robert McKimson, Youtube) - 7.0
Popeye: I Don't Scare (1956, Izzy Sparber, Youtube) - 8.0
Merrie Melodies: Speedy Gonzales (1955, Friz Freleng, Youtube) - 8.0
Dr. Seuss: Green Eggs and Ham (1973, Hawley Pratt, Youtube) - 7.0
Donald Duck: Grin and Bear It (1954, Jack Hannah, Youtube) - 8.0
Mighty Mouse: Mother Goose's Birthday Party (1950, Connie Rasinski, Youtube) - 8.0
Goofy: Get Rich Quick (1951, Jack Kinney, Youtube) - 8.0
Small Fry (1939, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 8.0
Balloon Land (1935, Ub Iwerks, Youtube) - 8.0
Pink Panther: Psychedelic Pink (1968, Hawley Pratt, Youtube) - 6.0
Mickey Mouse: Mickey's Nightmare (1932, Burt Gillett, Youtube) - 9.0
Betty Boop: Crazy Town (1932, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 8.5
Flip the Frog: Techno-Cracked (1933, Ub Iwerks, Youtube) - 8.0
Donald Duck: Duck Pimples (1945, Jack Kinney, Youtube) - 9.0
All's Fair at the Fair (1938, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 7.0
Merrie Melodies: Design for Leaving (1954, Robert McKimson, Youtube) - 8.0
Disney: Morris the Midget Moose (1950, Charles A. Nichols, Youtube) - 9.0
Bimbo: Swing You Sinners (Rewatch, 1930, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 9.5
Happy Harmonies: Honeyland (1935, Rudolf Ising, Youtube) - 7.0
Pluto: Puss Cafe (1950, Charles A. Nichols, Youtube) - 9.0
Woody Woodpecker: Born to Peck (1952, Walter Lantz, Youtube) - 8.0
Popeye: I Yam Lovesick (1938, Dave Fleischer, Youtube) - 8.0

April Reviews, Part 2

MOVIES
4/9

The Gate (Rewatch, 1987, Tibor Takacs, 35mm, Castro) - 10.0
When a tree is removed from young Stephen Dorff’s backyard, it leaves a hole, and when a dog and some blood are put in the hole, and some chants from a heavy metal record played backwards are spoken, the hole reveals itself to be a gateway to Hell, and lots of tiny demons and one enormous demon are released to fuck with Dorff, his sister, and his best friend. Fun and scary movie, with special effects that still look fucking amazing, and very cute, likable characters. It’s a really perfect 80s horror movie. Fucking incredible.

Hackers (Rewatch, 1995, Iain Softley, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A hacker named Zero Cool who got busted crashing a bunch of systems when he was a kid and hasn’t been allowed near a computer since, moves to New York, and befriends some other hackers, including Angelina Jolie. When one of them hacks into a system and downloads part of a plan to make a bunch of money by releasing a computer virus that dumps a bunch of oil in the ocean, the evil corporate mogul (Fisher Stevens) who’s behind it tries to frame them, but the Hackers of the World UNITE, and bring him the fuck down. Very fun, extremely 90s thriller, that’s actually effectively thrilling. The characters are nerdy, ridiculous, and endearing.

Prince of Darkness (Rewatch, 1987, John Carpenter, 35mm, Castro) - 6.5
A priest, a professor, and a group of college students go to an abandoned church to study a vat of green liquid that turns out to be “Anti-God”, and some of them become possessed by it. I’m pretty sure Carpenter’s trademark moody, synth-y score plays over every single second of the movie, which creates a very unusual mood. Unfortunately, that mood is slow and monotone, and the uninteresting characters follow the same pattern. There’s just enough going on with the story that I want to like the movie, and the final 20 minutes are creepy and thrilling, but I wish there was a bit more to latch onto.

4/12

Nail Gun Massacre (1985, Terry Lofton & Bill Leslie, DVD) - 9.0
After a woman is gang-raped, someone goes “plum loco with a hammer and a box of nails,” donning black jeans, a black motorcycle jacket, and a black helmet, and quips one-liners through a voice distortion box after pumping them full of nails (which is actually done with a nail gun, as opposed to killing someone by individually hammering each nail into people’s bodies as the quoted sheriff theorizes above). Do the people being murdered have anything to do with the rape scene the movie starts us off with? Probably, I guess. She was raped by construction workers, and it seems to be mostly construction workers who the killer is targeting, but it’s also anyone who just happens to be near a construction site, or pretty much anyone who lives in that town. The kills are pretty amazing, and basically every single thing that happens in this movie is hilarious, especially the one-liners, on the rare occasion they can actually be understood through all that distortion. This film is superb.

4/16

Spider (Short, 2010, Nash Edgerton, 35mm, Lumiere) - 9.0
The Square (2010, Nash Edgerton, 35mm, Lumiere) - 7.5
A noirish story about a woman whose husband brings home a bag of money through some kind of illicit means, and she convinces the guy she’s having an affair with to hire an arsonist to burn her house down (after she’s removed the money), but lots of shit goes wrong. Well-told, captivating story, heavily influenced by the Coen Brothers, and with some nice black humor. There are lots of twists and unexpected shocks, and a complaint I had about the movie is that it tries to shock a bit too often. The end of the film has what should’ve been a huge-ish shock, but by that point, it was predictably unpredictable, leaving no room for actual surprise. This was further encouraged by an excellent short film (Spider) that preceded the feature, also by Edgerton. Spider is about a guy playing a prank on his girlfriend that goes terribly wrong, and it also plays with unexpected turns, but to much greater effect.

4/17

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Rewatch, 1971, Mel Stuart, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A group of kids win a tour of a mysterious chocolate factory, and most of them get into some kind of trouble and don’t make it to the end, which is always followed by a creepy life-lesson song by oompa-loompas. Gene Wilder is incredible as Willy Wonka, who is such a fucking strong and unique character, and the movie is really dark and sweet and funny, and just amazing in all kinds of ways. I forgot how long it takes before they actually get to the chocolate factory, but that first half is equally as weird and great.

The Witches (1990, Nicolas Roeg, 35mm, Castro) - 8.0
A little boy’s parents dies, and he’s upset but gets over it quickly because all he really cares about is his grandma, and the two of them go to some hotel where they’re having a witches convention, and the boy discovers this, so they turn him into a mouse. So with his grandma’s help and the help of a fat kid who has also been turned into a mouse, they bring the witches down. The little boy is pretty adorable, in both human and rodent form, and his relationship with his grandma is pretty cute as well. Anjelica Huston is horrifyingly sexual and creepy as the lead witch. It’s really good.

BOOK
4/20

Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne - 10.0
A very horny 14 year old falls in love and has all kinds of insane misadventures. I was obsessed with this book in high school, and read it like 5 times, and was pleased to find that it holds up well, and is still incredibly funny and amazingly well-written. Something I don’t think I really picked up on when I was a teenager myself, is how self-absorbed every character is and completely oblivious to how their actions affect others. But the genius of the writing is that no matter how horrible the characters act toward each other, they are still charming and likable (at least the teenage ones). It’s also hilarious, and creative, and just fucking amazing.

March Reviews, Part 1

3/1

Pontypool (2009, Bruce McDonald, DVD) - 9.0
A guy on the radio, his producer, and an assistant start getting reports of weird shit going on outside in their town, and the reports start getting more and more disturbing and violent. It turns out to be a zombie virus that is spread through certain infected words, when they are spoken and understood. This movie is fucking crazy. And also awesome.

3/3

Audience of One (2009, Mike Jacobs, Roku) - 8.0
Documentary about a pastor in San Francisco who gets a message from God that he needs to make a Biblical, futuristic, sci-fi epic (he describes it as “Star Wars meets The Ten Commandments”). He pulls together some money from his followers and supposedly from foreign investors, and with a slew of volunteers, heads off to Italy to shoot it, in 70mm. For the first part of the movie, the pastor seems an amiable enough guy who is not necessarily crazy, and seems to actually have his shit together enough to actually make his film. But as time goes on, the cameras prove inoperable, unpaid cast and crew grow frustrated, and bills start piling up. It becomes clear that his passion and faith are only going to get him so far. At the end of the movie, despite not having accomplished anything other than building up debt, he announces some brand new messages he’s received from God, and it’s obvious he’s fucking lost it. I guess that’s kind of a spoiler. It doesn’t matter, though, it’s really good.

3/4

In the Loop (2009, Armando Iannucci, DVD) - 7.0
Some British people involved in politics are trying to deal with one of them having publicly said something stupid, and then there are also some American people who are also involved in politics, and they interact with each other, and there’s also a couple Scottish guys. I wasn’t sure if I was following it, but maybe there was nothing to follow? It seemed like it was all just a platform for witty dialogue. Which I didn’t find all that hilarious, honestly, but I still liked it.

3/5

Wait Until Dark (1967, Terence Young, 35mm, Paramount) - 8.0
Audrey Hepburn is blind and home alone, and there are some thugs who are trying to find a doll stuffed with heroin they believe is stashed in her house. One of the bad guys (Richard Crenna) poses as a helpful friend of her husband’s, and Alan Arkin pretty much just acts creepy. Very good thriller, with an incredible “jump” scare at the end. There’s a young girl in it who’s really good, too.

3/6

Sorority Row (2009, Stewart Hendler, Blu-ray) - 9.0
Some sorority sisters try to play a prank on some dude by pretending one of the girls is dead, but then the guy actually kills her. They cover it up and swear never to tell anyone about it, but a few months later, they start getting threatening text messages. And they also start getting killed. Really fucking fun slasher movie. I still haven’t seen the original.

3/14

Antonio Gaudi (1984, Hiroshi Teshigahara, 35mm, Red Vic) - Unfinished
A bunch of footage of buildings designed by the architect Antonio Gaudi. No narration, just music. It’s basically like flipping through someone’s photo book who just got back from Barcelona. I don’t have the attention span for it, and I only made it about halfway through, but I could appreciate what it was and why other people might like it, which is why I’m not giving it a rating.

BOOK
3/28

Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite - 8.0
Two gay serial killers are doing their thing for awhile, and eventually they meet each other, and become a gay serial killer couple. It was pretty good, and I liked the kill scenes, but it took me forever to really get into it. It definitely picks up once the killers get together. Their weird sex stuff and discussions of cannibalism was sorta cute. I think it was too serious for me to fully love it, but it was still very good.

October Reviews, Part 3

MOVIES

10/24

Fright Night (Rewatch, 1985, Tom Holland, DVD) - 10.0
The guy from Herman’s Head is a teenager named Charley Brewster and he’s dating Marcy from Married with Children, but he never wants to have sex with her because he has ADD and keeps getting distracted by his new neighbors next door who are probably homosexuals, and also probably vampires. Marcy doesn’t believe him, and neither does his friend Evil Ed or TV horror host Roddy McDowell, but they play along with him for awhile, before finally realizing that Charley is right. It’s an insanely good, fun movie with campy and amazing characters, and some awesome special effects. Fucking great.

10/25

Fright Night Part 2 (1988, Tommy Lee Wallace, DVD) - 8.0
Charley Brewster is trying to move on with his life, but the sister of the vampire he killed in the first movie has moved to town with some other vampires, and they’re looking to get revenge. It did something that always annoys me in movies where the lead vampire girl (not necessarily a vampire in other movies) is supposed to be the most beautiful and desirable woman ever, and the main character is completely entranced by her, but they get the casting all wrong, and end up with the actress (in this case, Traci Lind) who plays the apparently ordinary girlfriend being like a billion times hotter than the lead vampire girl. I kind of bought it in this movie because whatever, it’s supernatural, and also because Charley Brewster is so easily distracted by new things that it probably didn’t even matter what the woman looked like, or even if she was a woman, since I guess the exact same thing happens in Part 1 with a male vampire. Anyway, this movie is great. There are vampires who rollerskate and go bowling, sometimes at the same time. It’s awesome.

10/24

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (Rewatch, 1986, Tobe Hooper, 35mm, Bridge) - 10.0
Years have passed since the events of the first film, but the homicidal family is still up to no good, and when one of their murders is inadvertently taped by a radio DJ, Dennis Hopper uses it as a lead to track the family down. From the opening scene, every single thing that happens in this movie is fucking perfect. It’s gory, funny, creepy, disturbing, and seriously fucking gross. Tom Savini has claimed that his best special effects work was in The Prowler, but The Prowler does not even fucking come close to what he did with TCM2. There’s a scene where Leatherface slices off someone’s face (as well as some other random flesh), and puts it over the squirming lead girl’s face, then puts a cowboy hat on her, and I don’t even want to say much more, but the scene continues to escalate into even more horrifying territory, and not only is it amazing just on the basis of what’s going on, but it looks genuinely disgusting. Another sequence that stood out for me was when the girl escapes from the meat room, and is watching the family. Leatherface, Chop-Top, and the father are all standing in a huge room just being crazy. The father is ranting incoherently, something about property taxes, Chop-Top is also screaming fairly incoherently and dancing around with a corpse, and Leatherface just watches them both, looking completely bewildered and unsure what to do with himself. And I realized that this is what the characters are like all the time. They’re only doing this amongst themselves, and I found it to be a fascinating, brilliant insight into the lives of a family of maniacs. It’s true that the movie is also somewhat campy, but for me, this never takes away from how disturbing it is. It is truly one of the most perfect horror films ever made.

10/28

The Last Man on Earth (1964, Sidney Salkow/Ubaldo Ragona, 35mm, Clay) - 7.5
An epidemic has struck the world, turning everyone into zombie vampires, but Vincent Price is immune, and so becomes the last man on Earth. He spends his days staking sleeping zompires, searching for a cure, and reminiscing about the past when he had a family, and spends his nights keeping the zompires out of his house. But then he finds a woman who seems to still be human, and talks of a colony with more humans, which gives him some hope. It’s pretty good.

The Tomb of Ligeia (1964, Roger Corman, 35mm, Clay) - 6.0
Taking place in the English countryside of the 1800’s, Vincent Price meets a woman who looks just like his dead wife, so he marries her, but then hardly spends any time with her because he’s still obsessed with the dead one, who is still haunting him. It was a good story, with some pretty weird stuff in it, but I just couldn’t get that involved in it. It was alright.

10/29

Hausu (1977, Nobuhiko Obayashi, Digital Projection, Rafael) - 7.0
A group of girls with distinct character traits (one knows kung fu, one eats a lot, one plays music, etc.) all go to one of the girl’s Aunt’s house, but the house is haunted and starts killing the girls in various bizarre ways (the best being a girl who gets eaten by a piano). There’s a lot of good stuff here, and I certainly liked it, but I think my expectations were a bit too high. It’s a somewhat legendary cult movie that I’ve heard a lot about over the years, and it ended up not being nearly as crazy as I expected. I’ve refused to watch the movie over the years because it was never available with subtitles, and I don’t even like watching movies in English without the subtitles on. Interestingly, though, I could see how Hausu might actually be a better, and crazier, movie without any context for what the fuck is going on. Not sure what to make of that. It’s also worth noting that I was in kind of a shitty mood while watching, because I was hoping since Criterion had bought the rights to the film and was screening it all around the country, that maybe they had struck up a print. But it was on digital, and even though it was at a fancy, well-respected theater in Marin, the projection quality was fucking garbage, so I should’ve just waited until it hit DVD (I’ll probably watch it again).

BOOK

10/28

Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews - 10.0
After the father of a happy, perfect family dies in a tragic car accident, the mother takes her four children to their wealthy grandparent’s enormous house, but the kids have to hide in the attic for awhile, because the grandfather can’t know of their existence or he’ll kick them out. Awhile turns into years, with their only contact to the outside world being their abusive grandmother and their increasingly distant mother, whose visits become less and less frequent. Incredibly bleak, horribly upsetting story, that just keeps getting worse. It’s fucking amazing, and I can’t wait to read the sequels.

2009

1. Was 2009 a good year for you?
Mostly. I was very productive this year. I took an acting class, appeared prominently as an extra in a feature that will be released in 2010, appeared in a short film that has yet to be edited where I gave what I believe to be my greatest and funniest performance, made 2 short films that I'm really happy with (STAR TREK: The Motion Picture Film and Cut Her Open), made two episodes of a web series that I'm also really happy with and hope to continue working on (Capturin' the Freedmans Episode 1 and Episode 2), and had screenings of STAR TREK: The Motion Picture Film and Christmas Movie at ATA and Red Vic.
I also wrote the most important thing I've ever written, and I got a raise at work.

2. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Had wisdom teeth removed. That may not sound very exciting, but it was also the first time I've ever gotten sick pay, which was awesome. Getting paid to sit around at home not doing anything is a lifelong dream, and even if it was only for three days, and even if one of those days was spent vomiting for 15 hours after having an unexpected allergic reaction to Vicodin, it was totally amazing. I do actually like working and having a job, I just wish I didn't have to do so much of it to pay the bills.

3. What was your favorite moment of the year?
Every wonderful second of The Final Destination 3D.

4. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Every excruciating second of New York, I Love You.

5. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My New Year's Resolution for 2009 was to watch more TV and make a movie (these were also my Resolutions the year before, and possibly the year before that), and to read 10 books. I've only read 9 and a half books, but definitely succeeded with the other two. I still haven't watched Lost, The Wire, True Blood, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Deadwood, Heroes, The Office (US), Curb Your Enthusiasm, Gossip Girl, or roughly one hundred other shows I'd like to see and that people get mad at me for not having seen yet, but I did watch most of 24, and I love the shit out of it.
My Resolution for 2010 is to figure out what I want to do with my life, and take action to actually achieve whatever that may be. And also, to not just make a movie, but to specifically make Girlmar Gets An Abortion. You hear that, Omar? We're fucking doing it this year. Literally.

6. What are your plans for 2010?
Figure out what I want to do with my life, and take action to achieve whatever that may be. This may entail moving to L.A. to pursue acting or something comedy-related. But we'll see. I'm terrified of change.

7. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes.

8. Did anyone close to you die?
Patrick Swayze and Brittany Murphy.

9. How many weddings did you go to?
None.

10. What countries did you visit?
None.

11. What date in 2009 will remain etched in your memory?
None. Start asking better questions please, quiz.

12. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
See Question 1.

13. What was your biggest failure?
Not watching even more TV? Still not being able to write reviews in a timely fashion?

14. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Just the wisdom teeth thing. And I currently have a cold.

15. What was the best thing you bought?
Nothing. I was fucking broke this year.

16. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Quentin Tarantino and Sam Raimi, who both have incredible filmographies behind them, each made their greatest film this year.

17. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Ryan Jenkins. In case you don't know who this prick is, he was a contestant on Megan Wants a Millionaire, who (after the show was filmed, obviously) killed his wife, and later himself. Because of this, VH1 took Megan Wants a Millionaire off the air (there had been three episodes, I think, maybe four). This was unfortunate, as I thought it was a pretty good show, but whatever, I'll live without ever seeing it. However, it turned out Jenkins was also a contestant on I Love Money 3, which was scheduled to air in January. And on top of that, he won, so it's not like VH1 has the option to edit around him. Chances are, I Love Money 3 will never be seen, and this seriously drives me fucking crazy, and has been on my mind a lot as we approach the month it would have aired. I Love Money is one of the greatest fucking television shows to have ever existed, as well as one of the most addicting, and it completely fucking tears me up that I won't get to see this season. Especially because I recently found out who some of the other finalists are, and they include Weasel from Daisy of Love and fucking BUBBLES from Real Chance of Love and Charm School! Bubbles is one of my favorite contestants who has ever been on any of these shows, and I need to see her making it to the end on I Love Money. I do not fucking care that I already know who the winner and finalists are, that will barely affect my enjoyment of the show. I want to fucking see it! Why can't they just reshoot the ending or something, so it looks like Bubbles wins, and then give her the money? I understand where VH1 is coming from, but they need to understand my desperation to see this fucking thing. Just release it on DVD, and give the proceeds to the victim's family or something. And now it seems like they're not sure what to do with I Love Money 4, either, which was already filmed. Presumably because it includes references to ILM3 or late-season MWAM. But who fucking cares!? It wasn't won by a disgusting murderer, so at least grant us that, VH1! Just show us something. So anyway, fuck you, Ryan Jenkins. You've ruined my life.

18. Where did most of your money go?
Most of it always goes to rent and bills, but this year, I had even more expenses, like the wisdom teeth removal, and I also had to put a lot into my car this year. I had to fix some oxygen thing in order to pass a smog test, and then there was a late fee on my registration, as well as a parking ticket with a huge late fee, and then I had to get my lock fixed after someone busted it in to steal my iPod and GPS. I also got new glasses, which ended up costing a lot more than I had prepared for. It seemed like the whole year just brought on one huge expense after another.

19. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Wow, three "really"s? I don't know. I was really, really excited about My Bloody Valentine 3D and going to Great America on my birthday. Oh, I guess I was really, really, really excited about meeting Linda Blair!

20. What songs will always remind you of 2009?
All I listened to this year was Lady Gaga. So Bad Romance, because I think the video is one of the best movies of the year.

21. Compared to this time last year are you:
Fatter or Thinner?
Slightly thinner, maybe, but pretty much the same.

Happier or Sadder?
Sadder, honestly. The aforementioned productivity, the acting class, and something else that happened where I was asked to audition for a TV show (based on my videos online), while clearly great things, also got me thinking a lot more seriously about my life and aspirations. This is a really good thing, but it's also terrifying and intimidating, and has made me constantly frustrated and stressed at work.

Richer or Poorer?
Even with a raise a couple months ago, I'm significantly poorer. This also may contribute to being sadder. I don't mean to take my situation for granted, though, I am grateful to have job security.

22. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Not anything, necessarily. I accomplished a lot.

23. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I don't know.

24. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent it in San Diego. Opened presents with the family at my Grandma's in the morning, went back to my Mom's and took a nap, had Jewish food for dinner with the family, went back to my Mom's and watched He's Just Not That Into You, then hung out with Jennifer for the rest of the night.

25. How did you see in the New Year?
Am I supposed to be filling this out after the New Year, or before Christmas? I will be spending it at work until 9:30 or so, and then I'll come home and watch TV or some movies (I rented New Year's Evil and Poseidon Adventure (which takes place on New Year's)) with Erin.

26. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Constantly.

27. What was your favourite month of 2009?
The coldest one.

28. What was your favourite TV show?
24, I Love Money 2, and Parks and Recreation.

29. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ryan Jenkins.

30. What was/were the best books you read?
Flowers in the Attic and Zeroville.

31. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Lady Gaga.

32. What was/were the best concerts you went to?
Britney Spears, GWAR, and A Camp.

33. What did you want and get?
A raise.

34. What did you want and not get?
A role on that TV show I auditioned for.

35. What was your favourite film this year?
The Final Destination 3D, Inglourious Basterds, Drag Me To Hell, Orphan, and Crank: High Voltage.

36. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
Turned 27. On the day before my birthday, I went to Great America with some friends, and it was fucking great. And on the day of, Erin took me bowling and to dinner, and then we watched Crank. It was one of the best birthdays I've had.

37. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Not being broke.

38. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
A poor attempt at professionalism.

39. What kept you sane?
Knowing all year that I had this quiz to look forward to.

40. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Amy Adams.

41. Which political issue stirred you the most?
My theater suffered a bit due to the economy, so that, I suppose.

42. Who did you miss?
This question always makes me feel guilty. Time flies by so fast I never get around to missing people.

43. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
I put Anthony through a lot while filming STAR TREK: The Motion Picture Film.

44. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
The person who broke into my car.

45. What was your job this year?
Assistant manager and projectionist at the Balboa, projectionist at the Red Vic.

46. Did you have any encounters with the police in 2009?
I got pulled over for running a stop sign. But the cop let it slide, and gave me a ticket for expired registration instead. But I had actually just renewed my registration, so I only had to pay $25 as a service fee or whatever. I also watched a little bit of Steven Seagal: Lawman, and it was alright.

47. Any new additions to your family?
No, but I did meet my sister's sister for the first time.

48. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
Movies are better in 3D.

49. What would you like to have in 2010 that you didn't have in 2009?
More time and money.

50. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...
"Show me your teeth." You got it, Lady Gaga: